December 23, 2009

Me: Who is fatter, Daddy or Santa?

Imogen: You are the fattest, Mummy!

December 13, 2009

Sometimes you get grumpy, Mum. Then I pretend I'm a hummingbird. And that because hummingbirds don't like rice.

December 5, 2009

Picking cutters for Xmas cookies:

We need a Christmas tree, candy canes, a snow pig, a Christmas tractor, and a cat.

December 3, 2009

Me: Don't hit your brother.

Imogen: You need to learn about a thing called fun.

November 30, 2009

Mum, when I was born in China, Julius was my little girl. We went to Mongolia and Russia to have noodles and DisneyWorld.

Julius is Imogen's little brother.

November 28, 2009

Mummy, I am not going to eat some chili. I will only eat some Brazil.

November 26, 2009

Mummy, I think the Tax peoples are not getting a sticker on their good behaviour chart.

November 24, 2009

Mummy, can I have something spicy that I don't like so I can have a treat?

October 17, 2009

Mummy, when you were a baby, I used to play with your penis.

August 23, 2009

As you can see, I have packed my suitcase and I'm going to Antarctica, then to South Africa and Mozambique. Don't forget to worry.

~pause~

Actually... I'm going to Hawaii and the Congo. You look after my brother and the cat. And really don't forget to worry about me.

~pause~

MUUUUUUM!!! I'm taking Tom and Jerry. You won't miss them. And they always wanted to see some islands. Can I have some cookies too?

~pause~

But Mum, I can't clean up my toys. I need to take them to Antarctica. It's important for me to play whenI'm there.


This monologue was produced spontaneously and without response from her mama at any point. She just kept going and going...

August 21, 2009

Mummy, when we're done with Turkey, we can go on some airplanes to Mongolia and ask the Ice Lady to make us some snow cones.

August 17, 2009

When I get bigger, I can have some booze with you and Daddy. We can have everything about booze!

August 16, 2009

A month after returning to Turkey:

Mummy, I don't think we're in Canada anymore.

August 4, 2009

When I grow up, I can wear your nice pyjamas. When you get small, you can wear my nice pyjamas!

March 13, 2009

Mummy, I want to ride you like a piglet!

March 1, 2009

I love you, Mummy. You have beautiful red eyes.

February 2, 2009

Mum, can we go to the desert and get a camel and bring it home?