June 30, 2010

Mum, I don't like this grilled cheese sandwich. You forgot the peanut butter.

June 29, 2010

Mummy, I told Dave that I want to have two mummies-- you and Belle. But actually, I want Belle and Mulan. They're better than you.

June 28, 2010

Imogen, whilst seated on the toilet: I don't think my poos want to come out of my bum, Mum. They just want to hang out in there and read the newspaper.

Me: Oh Immy, you are too funny! Where did you hear that?

Imogen, tapping her forehead: I heard it all right here inside my own head.

June 27, 2010

Imogen: When boys grow up, they have to get married. When girls grow up, they have to go to university. And when kitties grow up, they have to get dead and be in the museum.

June 26, 2010

Imogen, looking at world map: Mum, where's Belize?

Me, pointing: Here, right near Mexico.

Imogen: Oh.

~long pause~

Imogen: Mum, I don't think I want to go to Belize anymore. It's smaller than my finger.

June 25, 2010

Me: Julius, please don't eat the dirt.

Imogen: Mum, I think it would be nice if you let him do what he wants.

June 24, 2010

I'm back. Something so great happened at the park that is so appropriate for posting on this blog, and so appropriate for posting on this blog RIGHT NOW that I just have to share.


We arrived at the park to find three boys, aged about 10, playing on the swings. My kids went straight to the baby swings and I lifted them in. Julius began his very loud, very high-pitched squeals of delight. A few minutes later a woman entered the park, alone, clearly looking for the source of the sound.

Woman: Oh, I thought someone was hurt when I heard that screaming.

Me: No, he's just exuberant in his delight.

Woman: Oh, isn't that nice. I don't think I've heard such a scream from a child before and it just worried me. I wanted to make sure everything was okay.

Me: That was really nice of you. He's fine. He has autism, so he expresses himself a little differently.

Woman: Oh, I see. Well, I'm glad everyone is okay. Have a great night!

Me: You too!

Imogen: You too!

Boy on swing: Did you say he has asthma?

Me: No, autism, it's...

Boy: What's that?

Imogen: It means that me and my brother are very special and a lot of fun and really the best ever.

Boy: Cool. You can play with us.

Now doesn't that warm your heart on a million different levels???

June 23, 2010

This blog is very new to the the blogosphere. But I'm nonetheless taking a pause from regularly scheduled programming (ie. fun quotes from my incredible Imogen) to ask for some advice.

Imogen was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder today. I'm not sure if I should continue posting-- do you think it's disrespectful to her if I post the things she says that make us (you and me) laugh? Is it fair to her? Are we laughing at her expense or with her future self? I don't think I'm laughing at her... but I want some input. I want to hear what you think. I'm not sure if it's okay for me to keep posting or not. I'd really, really love to hear your thoughts on the matter.

Thanks in advance, everyone.

June 20, 2010

Mummy, I have some very good news. That is because I decided that we can have some chocolate covered-up pretzels for supper. I know you are happy about this.

June 19, 2010

Mummy, that is called the High. Level. Bridge. And that is where my dad crashed his bike and broke his head. He was a big mess and there was blood all over everywhere. I love that bridge.

June 18, 2010

Imogen: Let's make mango popsicles.

Me: Okay, that sounds like fun.

Imogen: First we need a shopping list. We need parsley and oil and capers and salt...

Me: You need parsley and oil for your your mango popsicles?

Imogen: Don't be silly. That's for the grape popsicles.

Me: So the capers and salt are for the mango popsicles?

Imogen: No!!! Those are for the apple sauce. Silly Mummy, you're teasing me.

June 16, 2010

Imogen: I can't wait to eat my blueberry and rhubark crumble that I made.

Me: Me either! You did a great job with it. Can you say 'rhubarB'?

Imogen: Yes. But I don't want to. How about I say 'rhubarF?'

June 15, 2010

Me: Imogen, what would you like for dinner?

Imogen: Mirrors.

Me: Mirrors? Like, the things in which you see yourself?

Imogen: That's the only kind of mirrors there is, Mummy. I want them with ketchup and mayonnaise.

We had corn on the cob instead.

June 14, 2010

At the museum today, whilst gazing thoughtfully at dinosaur skeletons, Imogen came up with this gem. Her dad will LOOOOOOVE it.

Mummy, do you know how I know that my Dad is older than the dinosaurs? That's because the dinosaurs don't have all that grey hair that my Dad has.

June 11, 2010

5am. Imogen beside my bed: Mummy, is Grandad a real catch-fisher?

Me (looking for answer that will please her and send her back to bed, though having no clue what she's talking about): Yes.

Imogen: Oh good. Then tomorrow he can take me to Belize to buy a new ring!


She didnt' go back to bed. She crawled in with me and talked about her catch-fisher Grandad til I agreed to get up at 6am.

June 10, 2010

Imogen, calling out from the bathroom:

Mama, I need a little snack. If I have a cracker, it will help me squeeze the poo out.

June 9, 2010

I know what this library needs! Bumper boats!

June 8, 2010

When I was little, I used to have a penis. But it was so boring.

June 4, 2010

Mummy, Julius is going to send you to the madhouse. And also me too. I hope it's the one in Lost Angeles so we can go to Disneyland.

June 2, 2010

Me: Imogen, what do you want for dinner?

Imogen: Salad with spinach, roka (arugula/rocket,) orange tomatoes, apples, and oranges. And don't forget the balsamic.

Me: You want balsamic?!?

Imogen: I didn't say I want it; I said don't forget it. Why aren't you listening?