This blog is very new to the the blogosphere. But I'm nonetheless taking a pause from regularly scheduled programming (ie. fun quotes from my incredible Imogen) to ask for some advice.
Imogen was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder today. I'm not sure if I should continue posting-- do you think it's disrespectful to her if I post the things she says that make us (you and me) laugh? Is it fair to her? Are we laughing at her expense or with her future self? I don't think I'm laughing at her... but I want some input. I want to hear what you think. I'm not sure if it's okay for me to keep posting or not. I'd really, really love to hear your thoughts on the matter.
Thanks in advance, everyone.
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I don't think it is disrespectful Kim. I think you are showing what a charming and unique individual she is. Just my opinion.
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I really don't feel that I am "laughing at her", rather I am delighted by her. I think most of the amusing things you share are more indicative of her personality than they are of a "disorder" or diagnosis. That said, I am not surprised to see this question from you - I wondered earlier today if you would continue to share. Is the ASD going to keep you from smiling when she says tender, sweet, or funny things? I doubt it. And I appreciate it when you share them with us. Ultimately, it will be your decision, but I for one would
ReplyDeletemiss getting to share the smiles with you.
I have big huge thoughts about this.
ReplyDeleteShe IS incredible and I need not tell you, her insightful mother, that this has not changed - I only mention it to highlight the fact that you have always known and celebrated it, regardless of her recent diagnosis. I personally think that the way Imogen sees the world has something to teach all of us. You have raised her to love her own gifts - and the fact that she has the confidence and love present in every moment and shares what is in her mind is a GIFT that you have cultivated together. You hear her and see her and have an incredible window to Imogen. You are sharing a tiny glimpse in that window. I always laugh with you, with her . . . never at.
I also think it is deeply respectful, loving, and wise, that you are considering her privacy and future self.
If you see your online community as a supportive network of goodness, you will know where to draw your boundaries as they pop up. You will always have some who will tell you your boundaries are wrong. (not me, not me).
I, for one, would love to continue to hear more of Immy's incredible incombobolations. I think your blog will serve as a journal of her gifts. And likely more as you journey forward together.
xo
Jenny
Every thing Jenny said! Immy's pronouncements are wise and funny, and if they are somehow related to her neurological condition, I say that there has to be something good about that condition. I've often remarked how sweet and loving the kids in Max's autism group are, and I don't think pointing that out is in any way disrespectful. Nor is celebrating Immy's amazing turn of mind! And I honestly don't think any body is laughing at Immy. Most of the time we're laughing at you with Immy! (in a nice way). Fancy not knowing the capers were for the apple sauce!
ReplyDeleteOh Kim, You simply MUST continue to post. She is a funny and bright child and her quirky little quotes are part of her magnificent personality. You are not embarrassing her, "exposing" her or sharing things too private for your blog -- you would never do that. You could end up helping hundreds of people. What she has needs to be embraced, not hidden!
ReplyDeleteI agree with what has been said- I do not think that you are being disrespectful in the least. You are celebrating Immy for the charming, interesting, quirky gal that she is - her perspective is so sweet and unusual, and it's GOOD for all of us to see how her mind works. It lends a broader understanding to what ASD is, and what it can look like, and holds Immy up for the person she is, not the diagnosis she has.
ReplyDeleteI would love it if you would continue. Please hug her for me - we miss her around here.
I adore Immy's observations. They make me smile with delight. I've found in working with young children that they see the world at it's truest. If only we grown ups would just listen to them. You are one of those rare grown ups who listens with your heart. And how lucky are we that you share Immy's wise and often humorous words with us. I understand your worry though. It's a valid concern. Think on this a minute too. ASD is a "disability" that scares people away. People can deal with other "disabilities" (in quotation marks b/c I don't think Sam has a disability but its too early in the morning for me to come up with the right words) but autism will often cause people to turn and back away. By sharing Immy's insightful, humorous and thoughtful words you are in one little way showing the world that people who have ASD are people worth getting to know. They are friendly, funny, loving individuals. And maybe it may help others accept and reach out instead of pulling away. What a wonderful Mama you are.
ReplyDeleteEven if you decide against sharing Immy's imcombobulations make sure you continue to write them down! I guarantee you she will want to hear these as she gets older. My kids badger me constantly to tell the story about when they said such and such.
Thank you so much for your comments, everyone. I think I agree with you all. I never feel like I'm laughing at Imogen; I appreciate and adore her unique take on life. I think she's a fabulous little person who has a vibrant imagination and a great orientation to life.
ReplyDeleteI will continue to post here. I may take a break for a day or two though.
Thanks again, all of you.
If you have a concern about her future (I'm thinking teen age?) self feeling self conscious about having her wonderfully imaginative thoughts out there online, you could consider making it more anonymous.
ReplyDeleteImogen has a unique view on life, it's refreshing and delightful, we can all learn something from her.
When I smile or laugh because of her comments it's in admiration of her wonderful mind.
hi - i don't know you but i happened to stumble onto this blog a couple of days ago. after reading just a couple of posts i was hooked, and spent about 30 minutes reading through months of posts. i don't have any kids, but as i read i kept thinking 'this kid is amazing...if i ever have kids i hope they're something like this'.
ReplyDeletetoday, i was having a bland workday and so i came back to your blog for a little dose of sunshine, and read this recent post. i, as a total stranger to you, see your blog as a celebration of how totally awesome your daughter is, and her recent diagnosis obviously doesn't change that at all. she seems absolutely delightful. i hope you keep posting.
sending my very best wishes to you and your family.
Sorry I was unable to comment when you posted this. But I'm so glad you've decided to continue to post!! A journal like this is the kind of thing I would have loved to find in my parents' attic when they were moving. Hopefully Im will love to read it too - a glimpse into what she was like as a child.
ReplyDeleteThank you again, everyone. And Alice, an extra-special thank you to you for commenting and for reading! And yeah, this daughter of mine is the most awesome little girl I could ever have dreamed of!
ReplyDeleteI come to you via Sandrine. My son is the Jacob in her 2062 post (which led me to you). I thoroughly agree with everyone above. I feel that you are celebrating the uniqueness of your daughter's mind, and that can only be a good thing. That said, as she gets older, you may want to continue this (or start anew separate blog) with her as a participatory co-author and let her have same control over what she wants to share with the world. I am enjoying reading here very much and will be coming back again soon when I have more time. Please come over to visit me & my kids at "The Squashed Bologna" sometime.
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog. I wish I had recorded some of what my son said when he was this age. He was diagnosed with Asperger's when he was 9. He always said the most amazing things...it would be nice to go back and show him how insightful he was...and a nice way of showing how amazing our children are.
ReplyDeleteThanks June Freaking Cleaver! My daughter does seem wise beyond her years; I think she and I will both enjoy this record as she gets older.
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