Tuesday, September 7, 2010

September 7, 2010 round two

In the car after school, Imogen was uncharacteristically quiet.  Though she doesn't always talk to me, she usually sings or tells stories.  Today, nothing, until this conversation, initiated by her.

Imogen:  Mummy, I'm not normal.

Me:  What does normal mean?

Imogen:  I don't really know but I'm not normal and I just want to be normal.

Me:  I think you're really great the way you are.  Can you tell me some more about what makes you want to be normal?

Imogen:  No.  I miss my friends in Turkey.*

*"I miss my friends in Turkey" is the script to which Imogen reverts to when she's overwhelmed by and unable to talk about emotions she's experiencing. 

Any suggestions for on how to talk to Imogen about this?  I'm heartbroken for her that she feels this way.


  1. Oh sweet girl. :( My heart breaks for her too.
    Maybe try telling her that everyone, at some point, doesn't feel normal.
    What's normal? Who's normal?
    Normal is a pretty boring thing to be.

  2. I like that. I think knowing that everyone feels that way sometimes could help her. Thank you, anonymous.

  3. Awww Im........I agree with anonymous.......what is "normal" anyway??? I still haven't determined what that is!!! Love you guys and LOVE Im JUST THE WAY SHE IS!!!!

  4. Yup - I heartily agree that no one is normal and everyone thinks everyone else is 'more' normal. The things that make us different are the things that make us really special. And Imogen is wonderfully, incredibly and pretty much irresistably special :)

    Poor sweetheart! I am wondering what was said at school that brought this about?

  5. I'd just be really patient with her and love her up and encourage her as much as possible. She's had a couple of pretty major life changes lately so maybe she is still dealing with those?? Just give her time and keep the avenues of communication wide open!

  6. Maybe ask her to draw some pictures about what she is feeling??

  7. I would want to know what she characterizies as "normal" for starters. Then I'd work with her to point our how many people don't follow that set of standards and how important it is that there are all kinds of people in the world. If everyone was the same, ie "normal" there would never be new art, music, ideas, etc etc.

    Above all, though, I'm sorry she's feeling so sad. Certainly little girls should have at least a few more years before they start lamenting being different, no?