August 29, 2011

Today Imogen and MamaJen had a conversation about making pancakes.  I wasn't there for the exchange, so I can't do a word-for-word accounting.  But I can tell you this:

Imogen informed MamaJen that to make pancakes, you must have bacon powder.  

Jen said, "Not bak-ING powder?"  

Oh no, silly MamaJen.  Imogen correctly her swiftly.  BACON powder.  Every pancake needs bacon powder.

And now you know.  Just think how many pancakes you've ruined by using the wrong ingredient.  To the kitchens with you!  Get it right!

August 18, 2011

Imogen helped us prepare for our housewarming party over the weekend by creating signage for our refuse bins...

Imogen:  Mummy, I'm drawing pictures of garbage on my sign for garbage.

Me:  Great idea, Imogen.

Imogen:  Yes, and on my sign for recycling I'm drawing empty bottles and broken bathtubs.

July 21, 2011

Me:  So how was the parade today, Imogen?

Imogen:  It was okay.  But the Autism Parade was better.

Me:  The Autism Parade?  What's that?

Imogen, with a sigh:  Mum.  It's the parade I was in with my bicycle.

Me:  Do you mean the Cycle for Autism?

Imogen:  No.  I know what that is.  And I won a prize there.  That was a race, not a parade.  I mean the Autism Parade where I rode my bike and Jen and Liam and Julius were with me and there were rainbows and people waved at me.

Me:  Oh, you mean the Pride Parade!

Imogen:  No, I mean the Autism Parade.

Me:  Why do you think that parade was called the Autism Parade?

Imogen:  Because it was about being special and about love.  And that's what autism is about, Mum.

I can't argue with logic like that.  The Autism Parade it is.  Full of autists and queers.  Some of us both.

July 15, 2011

Seven of us are eating dinner.  Imogen is keeping everyone amused with her longtime, ongoing narrative about how Jen is her biological mother and the mother she likes best.  We are all giggling lots at her stories.

Imogen:  Am I being silly?

Me: Yeah, maybe a little bit.

Imogen:  Silly like a clown?

Me:  Um, sure, maybe a little silly like a clown.

Imogen:  Or silly like a beetle lying on its back on the top of a mountain?

You know, that near-iconic image of silly that springs to mind at the mention of the word.  Uh huh.

June 3, 2011

Imogen, in her sweet, sing-songy voice: I have my own penis now; I don't need my brother's anymore!

June 2, 2011

Imogen:  Mummy, for dessert I'm going to ride my bicycle.  But don't worry, I won't eat it.

Me:  Um, huh?

Imogen:  Mummy, sometimes dessert can be riding your bike or having a bubble bath.  It doesn't always have to be about eating sugary things.  For you, Mummy, it can be about drinking wine.

May 25, 2011

Imogen:  Mummy, I'm going to save the planet.

Me:  That's great to hear.  How will you do it?

Imogen:  Well, I'm going to find all the white dandelions and blow them all and then they'll all grow into more yellow dandelions and then they'll be white dandelions which are the most beautiful of all.  And Mummy, more plants and flowers will save the planet.

Me:  It sounds like you've thought a lot about this.

Imogen:  Yes, and even I know that my plan has no carbon footprint.

April 20, 2011

Imogen and I have been talking a lot about voting with the impending federal election here in Canada.  She doesn't understand the whole process yet, voting, campaigning and such, but I think it's important to talk to her about it and include her in my discussions.  
Imogen was therefore delighted when my friend Tanya came by on Sunday to get footage for her Dumping Stephen Harper video and she, Imogen, was included in the filming.  Even more delighted was she when the video was posted.  Imogen opens the video:

Upon seeing herself in the film, Imogen had this to say:

Imogen:  Oh Mummy, I'm so glad I breaked up with Stephen Harper.  He makes lots of thumbs down choices.

And her conversation with Jen about the video:

Imogen:  Jen, you have to watch my movie.

Jen:  I already watched it; you were great.

Imogen:  You have to watch it again.

Jen:  I already watched it like, six times.

Imogen:  Then watch it a seventh.

And Jen?  She tweeted about the video and Margaret Atwood retweeted her!!!  Coolest thing ever.

April 4, 2011 round two

Imogen:  Mummy, if a little squirrel was in trouble, it might say to me, "help me, human!"  And I would say to it, "little squirrel, I will save you."

Me:  Really?

Imogen:  Yes, and then, if the squirrel is parachuting, I will catch it.  And if it is falling off a waterfall, I will row my boat to it and save it.

Me:  You are a very, very kind and helpful person, Imogen.

Imogen:  Actually, I am a kind and helpful HUMAN, Mummy.

April 4, 2011

Imogen:  Mummy, I'm going to wear my new puddle boots today.

Me:  Great idea, dude.

Imogen:  Yes.  That's because sometimes a princess needs to be a pirate and sometimes a pirate needs to be a princess.*

*Imogen chose skull and crossbones boots at the store yesterday.

April 3, 2011

Imogen:  Mummy, I know how to make rocket soup.

Me:  Oh yeah, how do you do that, Love?

Imogen:  You take cheese and peas and musical jumping beans.  And Mama, musical jumping beans are purple, but rocket soup is pink.

April 2, 2011

Imogen:  I know Jen, when we go to the Dominican, you and me and my daddy, we can send my mummy letters.

Jen:  No, Imogen.  You and me and your mummy will  go on holidays together one day but I don't think you and me and your daddy will because I would miss your mummy.

Imogen:  But we could draw her pictures and sometimes it's good to miss the people we love.

Jen:  It's not gonna happen.

Imogen:  Oh Jen, you are grumpy today.

April 1, 2011 round two

Imogen:  Mummy, these are not tomatoes (British accent) or tomatoes (Canadian accent.)  These are moonsquirters.  You can tell because they moonsquirt in your mouth.

April 1, 2011

Imogen:  Mummy, if I found a girl and she was turned into a frog, I would kiss her back into a girl.

Me:  Oh yeah?

Imogen:  Oh yeah.  That's because I like kissing frogs and girls.

March 30, 2011

Imogen:  Oh Mummy, if we keep watching Farzzle, oh it's just so funny.  Mummy, it's gonna kill me!

March 21, 2011 round two

Me:  How are your beets, Imogen?

Imogen:  These are not beets, Mummy.

Me:  Oh?  What are they then?

Imogen:  I like to call them hot male sugary marshmallows.

Here, I smiled, I thought discretely, trying to stifle my laughter.

Imogen:  Mummy, are you giving me your happy face because you like them too?  You just can't resist hot male sugary marshmallow beets, Mummy!

March 21, 2011

When Imogen called Nanny yesterday and got Nanny's voicemail, this is the message she left:

Imogen:  Hi Nanny, this is Imogen.  I don't know why you didn't answer your phone.  I am leaving you a message.  If you would like to talk to me, press one.  If you would like to talk to my mom, press two.  If you want to call us all by yourself, press three.  If you want to talk to everyone, press four.  That's all.  I love you.  Bye.

March 18, 2011

Me:  Imogen, did you enjoy the play?

Imogen:  Oh yes, Mummy.  And I liked seeing Grayson.

Me:  Yeah, that was great, hey?

Imogen:  Yes. I liked the play and it was very good except one thing.

Me:  What's that?

Imogen:  They forgetted that I was the star.

March 16, 2011

Imogen:  Jen, these are the things you need to be a superstar.  This is a sopping* list.  You need to get one plum, two bags of bacon, and then, um, um, um, three bananas.

*sopping= shopping

March 14, 2011 round two

Me:  Imogen, can you be my helper?  Can you run downstairs and grab the cup I left on the table?

Imogen:  Of course I can, my little sweetie!

She used the "my little sweetie" phrase first on Jen, I should point out.  I didn't record it at the time and can't recall the context.  

March 14, 2011

Me:  Imogen, what would you like to have for supper tonight?

Imogen:  Carrot sticks and bacon please.

Me:  I'm sorry, we don't have any carrots right now.  Maybe tomatoes?

Imogen:  That's okay, Mummy.  I don't want carrots.  Only carrot STICKS.

February 27, 2011

Imogen:  Mummy!  I just haved a great idea!

Me:  Oh yeah, what's that?

Imogen:  I want to get some special dirty bathtub dishes for Jen for her birthday!

Me:  Huh?!?

Imogen:  Yes, Mummy, special dirty bathtub dishes that she can wash all by herself in the bathtub.

Me:  That sounds like a very, um, unique gift, Imogen.

Imogen:  It is very unique and also Jen is going to love it!  She will like my present the best.

Me:  Um, yeah.

Imogen.  Dirty bathtub dishes are the BEST!!!

By this point in the conversation, Imogen was hopping from leg to leg and waving her arms wildly with excitement.  Why didn't I have my phone nearby to capture the giddiness?!?

February 21, 2011, round two

After reading The Feel Good Book by Todd Parr, we had this conversation:

Me:  What feels good to you, Imogen?

Imogen:  It feels good when I go to school.

Me:  That's great.

Imogen:  It feels good when I have a sleepover with my dad.

Me:  Awesome.

Imogen:  It feels good when I say, "I love you" to my other mummy, Jen.

Me:  Does it feel good when you say, "I love you" to me?

Imogen:  No, Mummy.  Then it feels like a job.

February 21, 2011

Imogen: This popsicle is delicious like a warm icicle.

February 20, 2011... another kid!

This one did not involve Imogen at all... but it was too adorable not to share...

Me:  Which painting is your favourite, Liam?

Liam, pointing:  That one.

Me:  Why don't you go find out the name of it and we can include it in our comment in the guest book.

Liam:  Okay.

Liam checks out the painting and returns.

Liam:  It's called, "acrylic on canvas."

February 20, 2011

At the Muttart Conservatory, in Culina, on Saturday morning...

Liam:  Do you know what the soup of the day is?

Me:  No, hon.  I'll ask.

Me, to server:  Excuse me, what's your soup today?

Server:  It's roasted pork with sweet basil and...

Imogen, staring hard at server:  I LOVE YOU!

Server:  erm, ummm,  er...   sorry, that threw me off... there's um, white beans and tomatoes...

February 10, 2011

Imogen:  Mummy, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Me:  I still don't know.  What do you want to be?

Imogen:  Well, I can't be a fairy because I don't have wings.  So I guess I want to be a princess.

Me:  What's involved in being a princess?

Imogen:  It means I get to be like Jen.

February 7, 2011 round two

Imogen:  Oh Mummy, I had so much fun at Olivia's daddy's birthday party!

Me:  That's great, love.

Imogen:  For my birthday party, I want to go to the United Nations in New York City.

Isn't that every five year old's dream???

February 7, 2011

Jen:  How was school today?  Did you play with Lily and Sadie?

Imogen:  Oh Jen.  There are lots of girls in my class.  More than Lily and Sadie.  There are so many girls.  All day I was playing with the ladies.

February 6, 2011

Imogen had a large quantity of toys in storage while we stayed with my parents.  Now that we've moved into our new place, they're out again.

Imogen:  Mummy!  It's my map!

Me:  It sure is, kiddo.

Imogen:  I see Russia and China and Turkey and the Democratic Republic of the Congo!

Me:  Good remembering, Mo.

Imogen:  Yes, and I see Canada.  And look!  There's the United States of Disneyland!

February 5, 2011

Imogen:  Mummy, this candy Jen bought me tastes just like bacon.

Me:  Oh, really?  Saltwater taffy that tastes like bacon, hey?

Imogen:  Yes.  It's not greasy or salty or crispy or fatty or delicious.  But it still tastes just like bacon!